Wednesday, June 20, 2012

5 Steps to a healthy relationship

In today's society we have seen relationships come and go all because they have either lost site of each other or grew apart because needs have changed.  In the beginning we try so hard to try and make a connection that often times our best hand has been given away too soon that later in the relationship we have nothing more to offer and wind up losing.  It is important to try and find some kind of balance within the stages of your relationship so that your partner doesn't get bored or you can't think of anything else that will surprise them and send them to a top of overwhelming bliss. 

I decided to come up with 5 step goal that I am also working on within my own relationship.  I do however want to inform you all that these are my opinions, I am not nor am I claiming to be an expert I am just simply stating my opinion so take it as such.  I welcome comments and questions to all my post.

1.  Lets Communicate.  Communication is key to any healthy relationship, you must never go to bed angry as you will wake up with an even worst attitude.  Communicate any concerns that you have in the relationship, take time out of the day and just sit down and discuss your highs and low of the day.  Build a family meeting on certain days of the week just to have the family discuss any and everything with no judgement or repercussions.  Without communication how are you to know if your partner is happy or how is your partner to know why you are mad.

2.  All We Need Is Understanding.  There must be a level of understanding enacted within the relationship, no matter how much you disagree you have to see it from both sides in order to get an understanding of where your partner is coming from.  Truly listen to what it is that they are trying to tell you, relay what you think you heard to make sure you got it correct, think about it, describe your take on the situation, then provide a summary of how you feel it can be fixed or handled.

3.  Show Attentiveness.  Be thoughtful and show your partner some attention.  Observe their moods and try and be there for them according to that mood.  If they seem angry, approach cautiously and ask how are they, what is it that they need.  Understand that sometimes its just one of those days that they just need to let off some steam and may just need to be by themselves, let them be and eventually they will come around and tell you.  Its ok not to be able to fix every issue for your mate, but just letting them know that you are there and willing to help is just enough sometimes.

4.  Be Affectionate.  Often times people relate being affectionate with "sex" and that just is not the case.  It is one part of it, but there are many other ways to show affection within your relationship.  Welcome your partner home from a long day of work with a nice foot massage, have candles burning around an indoor picnic when your mate walks in the door and feed them.  Play a game of senses, where you blind fold your partner and have to trust them and your 5 senses.  No matter what be affectionate and have fun doing so.
5.  Maintain Spontaneity.  I have met many people over the years that I have found that do not like surprises or to take chances.  Those of you out there that feel the same way, I say bull!  The reason I say that is because life is about surprises and taking chances,  you take a chance when you get up in the morning to drive to work considering there is so many documented car accidents; you may enjoy the surprise when you walk into your yearly review and find out you got more of a bonus than expected.  So why can't you sit back and be spontaneous within your relationship.  Go in with an open mind and be free, I'm not saying wear your heart on your sleeve just maintain a healthy guard but be open minded.  Switch things up a bit with your sex life, social life, and work life.  Change is good, don't be afraid of it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Exciting New Show #Chicagolicious

The new series Chicagolicious seems to be a hit thus far.  The show is about an upscale salon in Chicago called AJ's.  It is a spin off show to the hit series Jerseylicious and if you didn't get enough drama and excitement from Jerseylicious you will definitely receive over the top drama with Chicagolicious.  We have Aj who is the over the top owner with humor to match, Valincia the over the top natural hair extraordinaire who also has been with AJ's from the beginning with over 20 years experience and she also models.  Katrell, also a model, is one of the makeup artist and new to AJ's.  Austin a very down to earth makeup artist is also new to Aj's and she is the youngest growing up with all brothers she is trying to erase her tom boyish ways and live the glamorous life style.  MacCray who is originally from a small town in Virginia is making his presents known in Chicago.  Niki I have to say is one of my favorites thus far. She is the salon's manager and Aj's best friend/roommate she keeps him grounded and keeps the salon running in tip top shape.  Q, AJ's cousin and Director of Sales and Marketing is a firecracker and beauty to match.  Howard Howard Howard, what can we say about him but that he keeps me laughing.  He is the playboy of the salon hitting on any and everything but at times it can be a little too much which Niki keeps her eyes on him and trying to get him to bring his "customer service" level from a 10 down to around a 5.

Now that we have the intro of the cast down, lets talk about these first two episodes.  It appears that with Katrell being new to the salon that she would have to go through an initiation with the other girls, but it seems as though the only one giving her a hard time is Valincia...Could it be jealousy because a new sexy woman has arrived and she is younger and is also a model...I don't know but Valincia gets very heated when ever AJ seems to show Katrell any attention.  For instance this last episode Katrell was looking to move out of her one bedroom apartment that she was sharing with her ex boyfriend and AJ decided he would help her and give her the name of his realtor.  Later they find a great apartment within AJ building and Valincia nearly turned into the exorcist.  I don't understand the animosity considering Katrell is a makeup artist and Valincia is a hair stylist and has been there for years.  So if its not jealousy, why are you so worried about where she lives or does?

AJ has decided to go green, but not before telling a little lie to the Alderman that he was very green.  Niki jumped in and saved the day by hiring a green consultant that assist with the some of the changes like a low flow toilet and 100% recycled printer paper.  The Alderman and the green committee were very pleased that they offered AJ a chance to go to Washington to Represent the Alderman's ward.

If the rest of the shows were as heated. funny, and exciting as the first few episodes I can't wait to see whats in stored.  Stay tuned!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Great Read

I am currently reading this great read, just made it to chapter 5.  I was standing in line the other day and I began spin the book shelf and it stood out to me.  I began reading and before I knew it I was already complete with chapter one, so I had to purchase it.  It discuss the trials of relationships that have fallen because they lost site of God's will and motivating them to get back to God's love and to trust his will.  I am not a big reader, but once a book has my attention on page one I can't help but continue.  I highly recommend this book whether your going through issues in your relationship, yourself, or the outside world.

Real Housewives of NJ friendships come to an end

Did you catch last nights episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey?  Well I did and it was a mess.  I want to focus this post about the heated argument between Theresa, Jacqulin and later Caroline steps in.  If you have watched previous episodes you will know how Theresa and husband Joe were caught in a bankruptcy scandal and they are going through the courts to try and fix the wrongs.  Apparently, Theresa has been in the tabloids discussing family matters and the possibilities of being broke but when confronted about it by friends she calmly says everything is ok.

Now I don't know about you all but Theresa seems to be headed for a nervous break down.  I say that because when you try and hold the weight of the world on your shoulders and can't talk to someone about your pain you begin to stress and lose focus on reality.  Jacqulin as Theresa has described has been a great friend throughout this entire ordeal.  But when she ask Theresa to be real with her because she is concern she does her usually Theresa defensiveness and request she not pry into her business as she doesn't pry into her business.  Hmmmm  Ok Theresa when a friend sees another friend going through not only the good but the bad they want to be there for them.  It isn't what you say but how you say it, so in saying its non of your business was hurtful because she is your friend and is just concerned.  I think Theresa's husband and lawyers keep her hushed because I think Theresa really wants to open up to someone, I hope its soon.  Maybe she should rethink Therapy at least they can't divulge info.

Last night recap of Keeping up with the Kardashians

I don't know about you all, but last nights episode has been a hard one to watch; Kris running into her ex of whom she had the affair with when married to Robert Kardashian, and Scott being emasculated once again by Kourtney. 

Lets begin with Scott and Kourtney.  Over the course of the seasons we have seen Scott go from party animal to a more laid back Scott where he is trying to show Kourtney that he is willing to change for her in order to be with her and his kids.  But, she is not able to see the fact that Scott is dying for attention from her and wanting to spend time with her and all she can see is his past actions and won't give him a break.  He nearly begged her in last nights episode to go out to diner with him, nothing big and fancy just diner.  She pawns him off to Kim and when she see's he is having fun and going out with Kim and coming in late she has a conniption saying how she didn't want to sleep by herself in the house and he is out all night.  Ok you two don't sleep in the same room so why are you even going to check to see if he is in his room what are you a warden.  He asked you to go out to eat with him and you try blaming it on your pregnancy but you weren't pregnant a few  months prior so what was your excuse for not giving him any time.  I hate when relationships are like this when one is trying to control the other and they are not working as a team.  She better wake up real fast because if she doesn't Scott will find someone who does respect him and is attentive to his needs and caters to him for him.

Same issues going on in the Jenner household.  Kris is still not paying attention to Bruce, he is walking around the house moping and Kris is working all night and day.  Any man will feel some type of way, she needs to find a balance and learn to get back to reality.  So she runs into her ex who she had an affair with over 20 years ago and feelings seem to be coming back for them both.  She informs Bruce of this and he tells her point blank she shouldn't have anything to do with him even her daughters Kim, Khloe and Kourtney told her to stay away because she is playing with fire.  At the end of the show we see her driving somewhere and Kim and Rob are following her to see whats up, but they lost her on the freeway and then we got the To be continued...  I think this is completely inappropriate.  You ruined your relationship for this guy years ago and your daughters are still bitter about it, so now you think it is alright to possibly do the same thing.  Are you looking to be hated by your family all over again. I mean you were just crying because you saw how upset Kourtney was last episode now your going against everything you were just saying about how your hurt that your daughter is still upset.  Bull crap, get it together double K cause you won't be happy til your brand is completely shattered and your family isn't there to back you up because your playing with fire and you will get burned.

Best Fathers Day Ever!

Yesterday marked the reason of my existence.  Fathers Day.  I have 3 beautiful children ages ranging from 10, 8, and almost 3 which is why yesterday meant so much to me.  They have been my inspiration for waking up every morning and going to work, my inspiration for looking to my next steps, and my inspiration for being a better me.  For the past 3 years I have been taking time out for me on this day to go Horseback riding in Rolling Hills Ranch in Bridgeville, Pa.  The staff is extremely nice and patient with their riders and the horses.  It is so peaceful there and I am able to capture my thoughts and just for a hour or two I just feel free and able to see the world in a different light considering I live in the suburbs of Pittsburgh.  This year I was able to share this experience with both my son's and it was amazing.  They enjoyed every moment of it.  Later we got home and spent time watching television, eating ice cream with my boys and my little princess, then had a moment to sit on the porch and relax with the wind blowing and reading our books.  This by far has been the best Fathers Day ever.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


As I sit here contemplating my next move, my mind moves to a scene of reflection; reflecting on my past and reflecting of my present, and the possibilities of where I could be as well as where I would like to be.  I began thinking about several things in my past that lead me to this point within my life and I can't help but wonder how things could have been had I not made certain decisions, some good and some bad.  For instance, I am sitting here with a set number of student loans that I have to pay back.  I can't help but think had I not transferred from a community college where I received multiple grants to taking out a bunch of loans at a 4year college were worth it considering I am not even in my field of study. 

In any choices that you make it is very important that before you act on your instincts to do a little research first.  Write down all of the pro's and con's of that decision and then do a little more research.  Talk to someone that has gone through the same decision making or is going through it so that you have another outlook on what can happen. That saying "I wish I would have known then what I know now" is so true.  We have all been in the instance where we weren't thinking about the later outcome, but instead wanting the right now satisfaction.  It is an epidemic of today's society which is why so many people are in debt, divorced, and stressed.  Let me leave you with a quote

“Reflect upon your present blessings -- of which every man has many -- not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” Charles Dickens

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Pacman VS Bradley

This fight to me was an excellent fight because Bradley held his own with Pacman.  They went 12 rounds of hard hitting excitement. I was one among many that were routing for Bradley and I have to tell you I was stunned to find out that the judges had a split decision and gave the title to Bradley.  Timothy Bradley an unbeaten (29-0) champ over eight-time world champion Manny Pacquiao (54-4-2).

Two judges scored the WBO welterweight title fight 115-113 for Bradley, The third judge gave Pacquiao a 115-113 edge.  The results were loudly jeered by a near-capacity crowd in the arena, many of whom stood stunned at their seats.
I watched the fight with family and friends, and they believe this decision was swayed because they judges in Vegas feel as though the Mayweather and Pacquiao fight will not take place any time soon.  They feel as though this decision was due to Bradley being from California.  I believe that it is possible that there could be some truth to these statements, but I also feel there should be a rematch because clearly with the scores that were present to us Pacman clearly won this fight and even though his reputation won't be shattered much it is the principal of the matter and if he won don't take that from him.  We can all see in Bradley's eyes that he feels the same way.  But either way this was an excellent fight, kept us on the edge of our chairs cheering them on.  Tell me what you think!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A CSR's Worst Nightmare....

I called you yesterday and you didn’t seem to answer
I began to worry, so I called you within an hour later
Some lady answered finally and told me you were busy
What is it that you want from me, you told me to call you now you’re ducking and dodging me
All I wanted was to help you fulfill your destiny
I tried you again this evening and got a faint “stop calling!” was that meant for me?
So I decided to take a breathe and tried calling you again
I explained my reasoning; all you said to me was that you weren’t interested
That it was all a mistake and my call was just in vein
How could this be, me with out you is like you without me a brand new tragedy
I’m taking down notes as I update your status
I try not to take your tone so personal, but its kind of hard not to
Trying to find different ways to console you
I guess that’s what rejections are all about, just rolling with the punches
So I’m just going to leave you with a goodbye and a thank you
Thank you for your time and I wish the best for you
As I hang up the phone all I’m thinking bout is “onto the next one”
You win some and you lose some
 it’s all in how quickly you can recover
Rejection, a rejection, what is a rejection
“To refuse to accept, acknowledge, use, believe, etc.”
Oh well, its time to be optimistic and just roll with the punches
I hope the next call I make doesn’t lead to another rejection

(This poem was inspired by my job as a National Pre-Admissions Rep for a well known school; I hope you all enjoyed it)

By: Tracy Kelly Jr.
June 7, 2012


Believing in a greater outcome
Looking to a better ending
Sheltering oneself from believing that there is an end to this beginning
What do you see when you look in the mirror
Can you see all that you have accomplished, lost, and do you like what you see
What is it that you hide behind those blemishes and crows feet
Being optimistic is the way of life; wanting to be on top #1 to say the least
You see, being optimistic isn’t what got you here but being determined, proud, and striving for greatness is what we speak
Being optimistic is all good, but what has it gotten you lately
Sweeping your drama under the rug for those not to see
Hoping for the best is all that you have left
I hope this optimistic mindset doesn’t send you to an early death

By: Tracy Kelly Jr.
June 7, 2012

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Struggling with the decision, do I stay or do I go
Enjoying my life but wanting so much more
To be able to travel and see the world
 recapturing my youth and those faint dreams once more
a town full of good and bad memories to one of a new beginning
What would become of me by leaving my family
My life has been nothing near easy
Learning to love only to lose it
 meeting long lost grandparents only to lose them
Being hurt only to hurt you
Crying over health concerns of our loved ones who would imagine
Why do bad things happen to good people
I said my prayers and tried to live a god fearing life
As a man we are taught to keep our feelings bottled up inside in hopes not to be called little bitches
The struggles of a man you have no idea, holding the world on our shoulders and not being able to trust many with even our littlest secretes.
I struggle every day to be the man I’m suppose to be
A provider, a leader, a father, a husband, a son and even your best friend
The walls seem to always feel like they are closing in, but with God on my side there’s nothing that I can’t accomplish
So with that being said here’s a prayer burnt on my chest for you to always remember
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
By Tracy Kelly Jr.
June 6, 2012

True Love Never Ends...

True Love Never Ends
Le Veritable Amour ne finit jamais
Sitting here reminiscing about all the memories
Some were good and some were bad
There were even times we made each other mad
You see there, I had to gigle to myself. Some of them damn arguments were just too ridiculous for words
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks
How is it that I am sitting here, indulging in the memories
When you should be here holding me, kissing me, making love to me
How did this happen, our love a distant memory
Fighting over insecurities
Mis-conducting of trust, respect, and feeling underappreciated; yea that was our down fall
So where do we go from here, how do we pick up the pieces
From my lips to Gods ears I thought you were my keeper, my ride or die chick, and my down for whatever
But as they say “All Good Things Come To An End”
But how could this be when I have so much more to give
I thought I gave the best of me as I received; now it’s just a fading memory
After the smoke clears within the next even or odd years, one thing I want to stay true is the friendship that we share
You as my best friend and I as yours because I love you my love always and forever
Je t’aime mon amour pour toujours et toujours

By: Tracy Kelly Jr.
June 6, 2012